It’s the biggest “joke” of 2005, but also the best movie of 2005. Yet another reason why Crash winning the Oscar for best picture is an absolute joke.

This, more than anything else, is a movie about confusion, and trying to hide what you do not understand about yourself. It’s a story about 2 men that that consider themselves straight, but are drawn to homosexuality. One hates himself for it, and it destroys his home life. The other finds himself addicted to the secret, and terrified of the outside world. What he has on brokeback mountain is all he wants, and he hates the reality that life must go on.

Everything about this movie is excellent. There are no forced emotions or cliched Oscar-bait tactics. It’s just a good story that is well acted and directed. This is the best movie of 2005.

It’s hard to review a movie that’s so good. Most of my reviews that are long have been about movies that stunk. This movie will have one of my shortest reviews because it can be summed up in a few words: one of the top 5 movies of the year, and much more deserving of the best picture Oscar than Crash (which was an awful movie, just so you know).

I had high expectations for this movie, since it was nominated for the Best Picture Golden Globe. However, this is yet another awful movie in one of the worst years for movies in recent memory.

It’s based on a “graphic novel” (which just means a comic book for people that are ashamed of using the term), but I have a hard time believing that comics are this stupid. This is a prime example of how Hollywood can rape source material and the average American dolt, who knows nothing of good cinema, can be fooled into thinking it’s great.

Lets start with the first 30 minutes of the movie. This is the big set up where they shove the family angle down your throat. You see how they all get along and love each other. This would be fine, but you know exactly why they’re doing it. You know the plot of the movie. You know all of this is to just make Aragorn’s past be more impactful to his family. Sorry amateur filmmakers, but this kind of set up doesn’t work when we already know what’s going to happen.

The absolute funniest part of the movie though is Aragorn’s son and his little subpot where he’s getting bullied at school. Yeah, he’s a teenager, but apparently bullies exist in high school. There’s a scene where he’s playing softball and the school bully hits him a flyball, and the kid catches it, so that’s why they’re now enemies….because he caught his flyball. No joke. He wants to fight him after that. I swear to God. I am not making this up. This isn’t a cheesy 80’s movie I accidentally put in the DVD player instead of A History of Violence. Oh and then there’s the scene where the bully pushes him too far and he uses super human nerd strength to beat him up, even though his punches probably couldn’t harm Mike Brady’s white blood cells.

Oh but wait, there’s an even better awful part in the movie. There’s these 2 guys travelling around the country killing people, so they decide to rob Hidalgo’s cafe. So they go in and they’re all like “yo, give me some coffee” and he’s like “you cannot wield it!” and they get pissed off and point a gun at him. So one of the guys then commands the other one to rape a woman to show them that they mean business (because apparently armed robbery isn’t evidence). This is when Baby Teeth McGee gets pissed and kills them both.

The movie may have been OK, but there’s way too many idiotic moments in the movie that distracts me. Idiotic moments that I hope were in the graphic novel, because if the writer of this movie put them in there then he should be writing Steve Martin and Vin Diesel movies instead.

Watch it…if you are a dolt.

You know the story, so all I really have to say about this movie is it’s definitely one of the best of the year. Hotel Rwanda was my favorite film of 2004, and I’d say this is my favorite of 2005 (pending several other movies I need to see on DVD).

What an absolute joke of a movie. I don’t care how much of it is real and how much of it is fabricated, this is a paint-by-numbers example of how not to make a movie. I really feel sorry for the good cast that wasted their time on this garbage.

This movie is one lame set-up after another. Don’t even think about the story. It’s the cookie-cutter sideplots that makes this one of the worst movies of the year.

Take the rebellious son, for example. He’s a jerk, and runs away from home, only to have Boromir use his wisdom to tell him that his mom loves him and he should go home. Also, he gives him a watch, which doesn’t make up for trying to steal his ring. So he goes home and is then eternally happy with his mom forever. Yeah, I’ve never seen that in a movie before.

Oh and then there’s the guy that retired from law so he can’t take Aeon Flux’ case, so she has to convince him to come out of retirement. Yeah, that’s new, too!

My favorite part, though, is the dramatic scene in the courtroom when all of a sudden everyone decides to take Monster’s side. They were all scared, but then just decide to switch sides for no apparent reason. They even do it in dramatic fashion where they all stand up one at a time. I wonder if beforehand they decided amongst themselves in what order they should stand.

This is a movie that could have been good, but it was written by a complete dolt, who will never win an award. ever. The story is fine, it’s the execution that is laughable. This is exactly what a HOLLYWOOD writer does. They recycle everything else that’s ever been done…and guess what, loser? You got nominated for NO Oscars or Golden Globes, and this is about as Oscar-bait of a movie as they come. How very sad you are.

The first problem I have with this movie is that it attempts to be Full Metal Jacket, which is the greatest movie ever made related to war. The somber narrarating and overall familiar events will make FMJ fans really annoyed.

The second problem I have is the tongue-in-cheek reference to the curreent war in Iraq, where someone says “we killed Saddam, we’re never coming back here.” That is plain and simply the lamest thing since Tim Robbins’ character in War of the Worlds said “occupational armies never win.” I knew at one point there would be a joke made, but the way that it was done was so unrealistically bad. If you’re going to do it then at least have someone say something they’d actually say in the real world. No one would say “we never have to come back here again!”

The only thing the movie does a good job of, and this is simply because it was adapted from a book, is capture a side of war we’ve never seen on film. It shows that war isn’t as exciting as you might think. We follow a couple of characters that are absolutely bored to death. Don’t get me wrong, Full Metal Jacket did the same thing, but there was eventually a good deal of action at the end. We can’t give credit to the filmmakers though, because this is what the book was about (by the way, what a boring book it must have been. I can’t believe anyone actually read it).

This is a movie you should avoid at all costs. It’s one of the worst war movies out there. No one involved with this movie had any idea what they were doing. They just tried to copy past performances and styles that were successful.

This is a movie that’s hard to love or hate. It’s a lot like one of those genre parody movies like “Scary Movie”, or “Not Another Teen Movie.” It basically has a little bit from every successful romantic comedy released in the last 10 years. That’s what Hollywood is all about, though: Recycling the same thing over and over again.

The second problem with the movie is that has a really obnoxious love story with Owen Wilson. Just fast foward through those parts. You won’t miss anything. It’s just cliched filler. The difference between this any a GOOD movie is that one of them doesn’t have to use the old “she’s already got a boyfriend BUT he’s a jerk” plot. Can you guess which is the good one and which is the bad one? Maybe once we can have a girl who has a nice boyfriend and she’s just a piece of garbage and cheats on him. If you don’t roll your eyes during the scene where her boyfriend is on the phone talking to his friends about how he cheats on his girlfriend then you don’t deserve to watch movies.

So that’s the bad, but what about the good? The real surprise of the movie is Vince Vaughn. I did not like his work in Dodgeball, and now I’m confident that it was just awful writing, because he’s fantastic in The Wedding Crashers. He’s back to playing that wonderfully shallow womanizer from Old School and it’s definately his niche. Keep casting him in these rolls.

The movie is quite funny from start to finish. There’s a great unexpected cameo (at least I didn’t see it coming) in the last 20 minutes of the movie that will definately please viewers of this film. If you don’t like it then what business do you have watching a comedy?

I say this movie is worth consuming for the laughs alone. It is a very funny movie at times when it’s not trying to steal from some of Ben Stiller’s better comedies.

I like an indie movie just as much as the next guy, but Broken Flowers is a disjointed Sideways wannabe that seems to have no real reason to exist.

The biggest problem I have with this movie is that Bill Murray’s character actually goes on this journey to find out which chick had his son. He has no reason to do so. He doesn’t want to do it, but he knows he has to or there’s no movie. You could care less which of these women he got pregnant. Why does he have to go to their houses? Why not just sit around and wait for his son to get there and then ask him who his mom is? Why not just pick up a phone and call each woman? Am I to really believe he’s going to search their house for the typewriter that was used to type the letter? Give me a break.

At the end, when you realize you’ve had no questions answered, you feel whole. Why? Because a movie where you don’t even care what the answers are delivered exactly what you wanted: Inconclusiveness. Thanks for wasting mine and Bill Murray’s time.

The biggest problem with this movie is the really awful CG. The US was doing better CG than this 15 years ago. In fact, this might be the least-convincing CG I’ve ever seen (well, next to The Last Starfighter). The story is fairly cliched in terms of Chinese movies. They really have run out of ideas. There are certainly things to like about this movie (it has a great cast) but unfortunately the bad outweighs the good.

These movies keep getting better and better. The Goblet of Fire book was very complex. I am surprised they were able to translate it to film so well. The opening is evidenc of the problems that they had. It feels more like a montage than anything, but it was absolutely necessary.

The Yule Ball is one of my favorite parts of the book, and the film captures every single element from that perfectly. In fact, I believe that the movie does a better job than the book did. The music is also fantastic, and it sickens me to say that becuase I am a huge John Williams fan (who isn’t?). The band at the ball was also very cool. I was really worried what they’d do, but they did a great job.

Voldemort’s return was fantastic as well. I’m glad they simplified the duel between Harry and Voldemort (not having them lift in the air and float away).