There is an American remake set for 2009, because god forbid America should let an amazing film stand on its own rather than be gutted and dumbed down/sexed up/culturally warped for mainstream audiences.

See this now, before it’s ruined!

This game makes me foam at the mouth with rage, for reasons summed up perfectly by Zero Punctuation.

I’m considering this + 5 to be the official death of the series.

Pixar’s masterpiece. Period.

Not just an excellent animated movie or an excellent movie for your kids. An excellent movie. Period.

I’m going to leave aside the terrible plot, characters, pacing, portrayal of various mental disorders, etc, and stick with the positive: The hidden game!

It’s like those Highlights pictures with the objects hidden in, only the picture is a mental hospital, and the objects are things that no mental hospital would ever, ever, ever have inside it because of the suicide risk: Flights of stairs, toxic cleaning liquids, sturdy cords, scissors, unlocked medicine cabinets, breakable glass, and MORE!

Find them all, and you win…nothing. There are no winners involved in the making or viewing of this movie. None.

TOM BAKER = PUDDLEGLUM.

TOM BAKER = PUDDLEGLUM.

TOM BAKER = PUDDLEGLUM.

If you need any other incentive to see this, there is something seriously wrong with you.

As far as characters and plot go, there’s nothing new in this film. The ending, in particular, is a pretty straight ripoff. And the story is a little muddled.

Regardless, I found myself liking this film. It’s low-key at the right moments and builds with proper tension in the others; the director knows how to turn a little into a lot. It’s gorgeous to look at, and has some pretty bold camera angles that reminded me of Dario Argento.

There are moments of this film that are genuinely frightening, and that’s more than about 90% of the horror out there now can claim.

The very first paragraph of this book was terrible. After one paragraph, I was waiting for the style to improve.

After the first page of this book, I was grinding my teeth over the clumsy style and waiting less patiently for it to improve.

Writing style didn’t improve.

If this was marketed as your basic mindless suspense novel, I could have forgiven mediocre-to-bad writing, because I would have been expecting it. But it got a fair number of good reviews, so I was expecting something more.

Bonus hate one:

About a third of the way through, both the terrible family secret and the identity of the killer were jaw-droppingly obvious. I went along a bit longer wondering if maybe they were just really obvious red herrings but no, no, you really do have to be reading the book upside-down and backwards not to guess its secrets. Which are not that shocking. Lifetime Movie grade stuff. Which is fitting, since the one-dimensional characters are all Lifetime Movie stock.

Bonus hate two:

This author is clearly very self-satisfied with her groundbreaking, daring look at female vulnerability.

Except that it’s not groundbreaking. Or daring. Or new or bold or interesting in any way.

High school girls are mean to each other? I had no idea! Teenage girls bury their emotional pain by cutting themselves, puking up their meals, or partying with sex and drugs? You don’t say! Deep down, not even the popular girls are really happy? Stop the presses!

See above: Lifetime. Grade. Stuff. It’s nothing short of embarassing to watch an author trot out this tired stuff with such a smug psuedo-feminist air.

If you’re considering this book, watch some LMN instead. You’ll get the exact same experience, but you’ll have commercial breaks you can use to regret your decision. And cry. And cut yourself.

I have no idea how this could be listed as “not worth consuming”. This is gold. Pure “Celebrities now praying you do not remember their association with this film” gold.

A remake is underway, featuring the kid from the original as Turok.

Read the manga.

I can really only recommend this as a somewhat interesting companion piece if you’re bored and liked the manga.

It’s not bad. It’s well cast, well directed, etc. But there’s no room for the individual backstories that really made the manga gripping. Minor characters are no longer memorable thanks to strange quirks or motives, and major characters are reduced to one dimension. (Mitzu with no background? Tremendous waste.)

Old school cheesy goodness.

Oh, Warwick Davis. Is there any fantasy epic you have not substantially improved?