I would rather have my face attacked by a badger than allow my childhood crush on Johnny Depp to be further defiled by the viewing of another Burton craptacular.

Must see this at the theater!

One of the most ridiculous, fun, sci-fi gross-out scenes ever but won’t be nearly as much fun unless you exclaim “Ewww!” in a theater with other equally-grossed-out people.

I deserve a prize for finishing this. A big prize.

That prize will hopefully be passing a licensing exam. Licensing = Freedom

Big prize indeed.