All Consuming : malevolentmuse

A Review Of Life Free of Die Hard (rated 4 stars)

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Sun, 01 Jul 2007 23:29:03 GMT

by Len Wiseman

The first half of the movie is a tad boring, focusing mostly on plot points, but once it gets going the action sequences are very enjoyable and some downright amazing. It’s enjoyable if not Die Hard good.

A Review of Evan Almighty (rated 1 star)

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Tue, 26 Jun 2007 05:32:24 GMT

Evan Almighty

by Tom Shadyac

A horrible, horrible movie. Painfully unfunny and ridiculously sanctimonious and preachy. I’m very disappointed in Steve Carell for agreeing to make this piece of crap.

Why I recommend "Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End"

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Sat, 02 Jun 2007 05:15:47 GMT

Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World's End

I consider myself a bit of a soundtrack collector and this is one of the best I’ve heard in a long, long time. A fantastic soundtrack kicked off by the haunting Hoist the Colors, the song sung at the opening of the movie. A must have for anyone who likes orchestral soundtracks.

A Review of Shrek the Third (rated 4 stars)

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Mon, 21 May 2007 13:31:12 GMT

Shrek the Third

by Raman Hui

It’s definitely cute, but doesn’t come close to the first two. Still, people will whine about it because a lot of people equate cute with silly or stupid.

Spider-Man 3: Definitely Not Perfect (rated 3 stars)

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Mon, 07 May 2007 02:54:20 GMT

Spider-Man 3

by Sam Raimi

Good effects and an interesting story can’t completely make up for a bad script. It’s enjoyable, but definitely the worst of the three.

Why I recommend "The Rocky Horror Picture Show (Single Disc Edition)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Sun, 29 Apr 2007 23:13:32 GMT

The Rocky Horror Picture Show (Single Disc Edition)

by Jim Sharman

This is a really, really BAD movie. In its sleep it dreams of being mediocre. The acting is abysmal, the dialogue laughable, and the production values rank somewhere between a training video and what happens when a three year-old finds the on button on mommy and daddy’s camcorder. At best, this movie is so bad it’s funny. So, why did I mark it as worth it? Simple: the experience of seeing the movie in a theater surrounded by crazed fans in costumes and makeup acting out the plot. The make fun of the movie and its characters lovingly, but seem to relish how horrible this thing really is. The fact so many eventual stars got their start in this movie gives it an interesting curio factor as well.

A Review of Anchorman

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Sun, 04 Feb 2007 02:43:59 GMT

Anchorman - The Legend Of Ron Burgundy (Full Screen Edition)

I realize I’m probably about to have my sense of humor card revoked, but even though there are parts of this movie that are funny I really wasn’t all that impressed. I like Will Farrell and love Steve Carell, but this just isn’t either’s finest moment. I didn’t laugh until 30 minutes into the movie, a bad sign for a comedy.

I wanted to like this one and am sad to say I didn’t.

A Review of Volver (rated 3 stars)

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Thu, 01 Feb 2007 03:19:07 GMT

Volver

by Pedro Almodóvar

Not a great movie by any great stretch of the imagination, but enjoyable. Cruz is good, but not Oscar worthy. I think everyone was just surprised she managed to emote. Early scenes with the young girl playing her teenaged daughter, who is pretty good, are creepy beyond necessity.

A Review of Blood Diamond (rated 4 stars)

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Tue, 19 Dec 2006 04:08:30 GMT

Blood Diamond

by Edward Zwick

A very good movie. The acting is excellent, but all that Oscar talk for Leo is just hype. He’s good, but he was significantly better in The Departed. It’s not even close.

A review of The Departed (rated 4 stars)

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 19:19:40 GMT

The Departed

by Martin Scorsese

Very good movie, but a ridiculously bad ending.

A Review of Nacho Libre (rated 1 star)

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 19:12:48 GMT

Nacho Libre

by Jared Hess

Bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad, bad. Just…bad. The right adjective has not be invented to describe just how bad this thing is. Granted, I don’t like Jack Black, but I have a number of friends who love him and they all hated this movie. That’s pretty telling.

A Review of The Black Dahlia (rated 1 star)

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 19:09:30 GMT

The Black Dahlia

I had high hopes for this movie, marketed as Brian De Palma’s comeback, but you know a movie is truly bad when you being drunk while watching it doesn’t make it better…or maybe it did and it’s even worse than I thought.

A Review of Bobby (rated 3 stars)

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 19:07:43 GMT

Bobby

by Emilio Estevez

Bobby is not a great movie. Not even close. The script is awful and in spots incredibly pointless. However, what Estevez lacks as a writer and actor he makes up for as a pretty decent director, even if he needs to work on his pacing. Bobby is a well shot and acted film and in the end that is what saves it from itself.

A Review of Marie Antoinette

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Sun, 05 Nov 2006 20:13:42 GMT

Marie Antoinette

by Sofia Coppola

Marie Antoinette isn’t a bad movie, just an utterly boring one. Sofia Coppola’s direction and screenplay are totally devoid of anything of interest, apparently refusing to sacrifice her clunky dialogue ~~- which falls from each actor’s lips like lead bricks -~~ for anything even resembling character development. Only bored, angst-filled teen-aged girls will be able to relate to watching Marie be bored and angst-filled for two yawn-inducing hours of her eating candy and shopping for shoes.

A Review of Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (rated 5 stars)

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Sun, 05 Nov 2006 20:03:23 GMT

Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan

by Larry Charles

I may have just seen the funniest movie ever made. Not the best comedy ever, but the funniest. This movie is the reason the word hysterical was created not to mention the words outrageous, offensive and subversive. Borat is a comedic masterpiece; a wonderfully surreal example of guerrilla filmmaking that borders on being performance art rather than an actual movie. Sacha Baron Cohen gives arguably the greatest comedy performance I have ever seen. He is fearless in a way never seen on film before, refusing to break character regardless of the circumstances or their consequnces. I laughed and at times I hated myself for it, but in the end, after you’re finished laughing, it makes you think and that is the true mark of perfection in satire.

Why I recommend "MySpace"

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Sat, 26 Aug 2006 01:10:12 GMT

MySpace

by Tom

MySpace is so much fun and addictive it’s painful. The people complaining that too many people are there are just being whiny because they always have to be somewhere they can feel elite and smug.

Why it's taking me forever to finish consuming "Notting Hill (Collector's Edition)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 23:53:07 GMT

Notting Hill (Collector's Edition)

by Roger Michell

I’m not a huge romantic comedy fan, but a friend let me borrow her DVD. I’ve had it all this time; however, she says she doesn’t want it back until I’ve finished watching the movie.

Why I want to consume "Portable Literature: Reading, Reacting, Writing"

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 23:50:24 GMT

Portable Literature: Reading, Reacting, Writing

by Laurie G. Kirszner

NOT BY CHOICE! This is one of the textbooks for my English Comp II class. It looks deadeningly boring.

A story about "Grey Goose Vodka"

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Thu, 24 Aug 2006 03:58:41 GMT

Grey Goose Vodka

by Grey Goose Importing Company

I love screwdrivers, but I’ve never been overly picky about what kind of vodka I use. That was until a friend convinced me to get a bottle of Grey Goose and it knocked me on my ass.

A story about "Ferrero Rocher"

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 05:27:21 GMT

Ferrero Rocher

by Ferrero SpA

Fucking addictive. They need to be outlawed when I’m on a diet.

A story about "Lasagna"

nobody@allconsuming.net (malevolentmuse) — Mon, 21 Aug 2006 05:26:39 GMT

Lasagna

by Homemade

Who doesn’t like lasagna? Vegatarians? Got em covered with spinach lasagna. People cutting back on red meat? Three cheese lasagna. I’m pretty sure this is what the Israelites called Manna.