A review of "Go Tell the Spartans"

nobody@allconsuming.net (liam24) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 21:38:51 GMT

by Ted Post

I watched this based on the glowing commentaries I had seen on Amazon and imdb. Reviewers claiming to be vets said it was accurate, some people said it was the most important movie about the Vietnam War, etc etc etc. I am now convinced those “vets” never served a day in the military, and anyone who gives this a good review is mentally deficient.

Let’s start with historical accuracy. It’s 1964. Let me say that again – this movie takes place in 1964. The soldiers have shaggy hair that wouldn’t even pass inspection in the 1970s when standards were more relaxed. The movie looks like it was filmed in northern Michigan, not a tropical area. The American soldiers are walking around on patrol and the only gear they have is a pistol belt and canteen – no web gear, assault packs, ammo pouches, nothing. The aide to the Vietnamese colonel is wearing a 1970s leisure suit, and speaking in a bizarre accent that seems to be a cross between French and some unidentifiable Asian accent. The boonie hats the soldiers are wearing don’t look like any military issue I’ve ever seen. The battle scenes are laughable, such as when they are mortaring the Viet Cong as they cross the river. The list goes on and on and on.

Ok, maybe the historical accuracy is bad, but in a movie, the story and acting are the most important things. The character are cardboard cutouts. The burned out sergeant, the idealistic draftee, the wise old major, the bumbling lieutenant, the heroin addict (which is just plain stupid – this was 1964, when most everyone in country were lifers and volunteers, not drafted hippies). The dialog is terrible. The acting is sub-par, the story pretty much garbage. I’m not even going to back that up. If you don’t believe me, watch this movie and waste 2 hours of your life.

Don’t waste your time with this steaming pile.