All Consuming : Jason Rhyley

A question I have about "Quantico"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Sat, 12 May 2007 08:08:27 GMT

Quantico

by Greg Bear

Who is this bastard child of Crichton and Patterson, and what have you done with Greg Bear?

A story about "300"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 04:38:22 GMT

300

by Zack Snyder

Gorgeous, gorgeous movie. Every fold of cloth and every ripple of muscle could not have been used to better visual effect. But I think I am destined to just not get the whole Frank Miller ultraviolence thing. Fine, art is supposed to make you uncomfortable, whatever. But the majority of the battle in this movie is just so… gross. Each pumping, sundered vein is treated by the camera with as much reverence as all that cloth and muscle. After a certain number of improbable blood sprays, you have to wonder what point the artist is trying to make.

I repeat: I just don’t get it.

Why I recommend "Wallace & Gromit - The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (Widescreen Edition)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Mon, 19 Mar 2007 20:57:02 GMT

Wallace & Gromit - The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (Widescreen Edition)

by Steve Box

“Please, call me Totty.” I had to pause the movie so I could try to stop laughing.

Ugh. (rated 2 stars)

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Fri, 22 Dec 2006 04:25:08 GMT

Dane Cook - Vicious Circle

by Marty Callner

I wish I could scrub the unfunny out of my brain. He still has a sweet ass, though.

A story about "Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.5 (Episodes 11-20)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 03:32:09 GMT

Battlestar Galactica: Season 2.5 (Episodes 11-20)

Holy Fracking Shit!

A story about "The Chronicles of Narnia Movie Tie-in Edition (adult) (Narnia)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Fri, 17 Nov 2006 00:08:50 GMT

The Chronicles of Narnia Movie Tie-in Edition (adult) (Narnia)

by C. S. Lewis

I think I agree with Neil Gaiman on this one:

“For good or ill the religious allegory, such as it was, went entirely over my head, and it was not until I was about twelve that I found myself realising that there were Certain Parallels… I was personally offended: I felt that an author, whom I had trusted, had had a hidden agenda. I had nothing against religion, or religion in fiction… My upset was, I think, that it made less of Narnia for me, it made it less interesting a thing, less interesting a place.”

I’d previously only read the Lion, the Witch and The Wardrobe, so I’m reading the rest to see if The Allegory still bugs me as much.

Update: Meh. I wasn’t missing much. Lion and Prince Caspian are quite enjoyable, the others not so much.

Why it's taking me forever to finish consuming "Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Fri, 01 Sep 2006 21:11:11 GMT

Final Fantasy VII: Dirge of Cerberus

by Square Enix

OMG. It’s an FPS? An FF title is an FPS? WTF?!

(This post brought to you by SFPOCA [the Society For the Proliferation Of Confusing Acronyms])

A story about "Gangs of New York (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 06:10:02 GMT

Gangs of New York (Two-Disc Collector's Edition)

I made it through about 30 minutes before I turned it off. The only other time I’ve done that with a movie I paid good money to rent was, oddly enough, The Beach, another DiCaprio Vehicle. Now I just avoid movies that he’s in entirely, so hopefully I’ll be safe.

A review of "Game Over - The Complete Collection"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 06:07:50 GMT

Game Over - The Complete Collection

by John Rice (VI)

Pure fucking awfulness.

A story about "The Nightmare on Elm Street Collection"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 05:59:44 GMT

The Nightmare on Elm Street Collection

Yet more horror movies that Dan has forced me to watch. I just. Don’t. Like. Them.

A review of "Wrong Turn" (rated 1 star)

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 05:49:41 GMT

Wrong Turn

by Rob Schmidt

Wow that was awful. I love you Eliza, but there’s only so much I can put up with.

A story about "Con Air"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 05:46:31 GMT

Con Air

by Simon West

This is the movie that solidified my desire to kick Nicholas Cage in the face. Hard.

A story about "Dahmer"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 05:45:01 GMT

Dahmer

by David Jacobson

Dan made me watch this shit. Shortly afterwards, he had his own Netflix account.

A story about "Hollow Man"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 05:30:17 GMT

Hollow Man

My boyfriend Dan and our friend Leo are extras in one of the crowd scenes on the Mall. So I have one degree of seperation.

Still, what a steaming pile of a movie.

A story about "Trainspotting - Director's Cut (Collector's Edition)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 04:52:09 GMT

Trainspotting - Director's Cut (Collector's Edition)

by Danny Boyle

I avoided watching this film for a very long time because I was all “ew, heroin.” When I finally broke down and watched it, I kind of kicked myself because I had been denying myself such a great movie. But still. Ew, heroin.

Why I recommend "Hocus Pocus"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Mon, 28 Aug 2006 03:09:26 GMT

Hocus Pocus

by Kenny Ortega

“Amok! Amok amok amok!”

A story about the last time I consumed "Conspiracy Theory"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 19:55:54 GMT

Conspiracy Theory

Ah, Mel before he was a self-important crazy religious freak.

Why I recommend "Cruel Intentions"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 19:53:58 GMT

Cruel Intentions

by Roger Kumble

SMG doing evil and Ryan Phillipe’s succulent ass.

A story about the last time I consumed "Bubble Boy"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 19:48:18 GMT

Bubble Boy

by Blair Hayes (II)

This is a cute little movie, true, but I confess the only reason I re-watched it was to see Jake’s ass.

Why I recommend "Birthday Girl"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Sun, 27 Aug 2006 19:38:39 GMT

Birthday Girl

by Jez Butterworth

This is a deeply weird little movie, and that’s why I love it.

A review of "Bad Twin (Hyperion)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Jason Rhyley) — Sat, 26 Aug 2006 05:07:56 GMT

Bad Twin (Hyperion)

by Gary Troup

This was actually much better than I thought it was going to be, though I never would have read it were it not for the “Lost” connection. Can’t say I’d recommend it for anyone who isn’t a Lost addict, either. I did like this, though: at the end of the typical these-events-are-fictional disclaimer on the copyright page , it states “The author himself is a fictional character.”