All Consuming



erik / Buster Benson
is consuming 38 items, doing 14 things, going 32 places, and meeting 36 people.


I'm currently reading 25 books, listening to 1 album, watching 11 movies, eating and drinking 0 food items, and consuming 1 other thing.

10 entries have been written about this.

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Perfect blend of self-help, science, and pop writing... — 1 year ago

WORTH CONSUMING!

I really enjoyed this book. I feel like the title is misleading… this isn’t about marriage… this is about interpersonal relationships. And everyone, married or not, has tons of these. Friends, coworkers, family, and I guess spouse if you have one.

The two main points that I liked about this book:

How not to criticize: Instead of complaining, criticizing, being sarcastic, or avoiding conflict, it seems like a primary tool that this book talks about is acknowledging your needs. Instead of saying what’s wrong, instead of describing the problem, talk about what you need personally. Talk about a present need, what you need right now, not in the future or past. It shifts the brain a little to think about that knot in your chest and what the key is to it, rather than just hitting the other person with the knot over and over.

Don’t try to solve the problem: Lots of people were always going straight to problem solving. The writers of this book say that trying to solve the problem too early leaves people feeling misunderstood. Most conflicts aren’t about problems, it’s about being understood. So instead of suggesting solutions, they suggest asking open ended questions about the person so that you can try to understand them, and understand why the problem is a problem.

There’s a lot of other good stuff here. I’m recommending it to all my friends and coworkers.

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A review of "Life of Pi" — 2 years ago

WORTH CONSUMING!

This book is going to sit in my subconscious for a while. I keep thinking about the meerkat island in particular, since it is strangely similar to some of my craziest dreams.

I think the end could’ve been lopped off, but other than that it’s a good, easy, surreal, imaginative, enjoyable read.

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My favorite. — 2 years ago

WORTH CONSUMING!

This is my favorite discovered album of the year so far. Let’s have bizarre celebrations. Perfect.

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Not terribly worth it... — 2 years ago

WORTH CONSUMING!

But for a slightly sloppy trip into fake memoirism/ghost story/celebrity tabloid journalism, there really isn’t a whole lot of competition. And it could’ve been great. It’s always fun to realize that greatness could’ve existed, even if it didn’t quite.

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Not what I expected — 2 years ago

WORTH CONSUMING!

I liked it all the more because. Sofia has taken one of the most dramatic, soap-operatic, moments of Western history and stripped out all of the plot, mystique, and grandiosity. Other than the costumes and set, there’s no hint of Marie Antoinette’s historical significance… what you watch instead is two hours of what could’ve been a light high-school drama, except the high schoolers happened to be King and Queen of France, and instead of failing Math there’s a revolution and beheading.

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Why I recommend "Freaks" — 3 years ago

WORTH CONSUMING!

This movie was a unique experience… you have to face your own conflicted emotions on the topic of physically abnormal people. We all have a tendency to be shocked by the strange… but what do we do with that shock? Laugh? Stare? Shrug your shoulders? I especially liked the sideshow interviews (included on the DVD) that went through each person and gave some of their history. Definitely worth seeing.

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A story about "Strangers to Ourselves: Discovering the Adaptive Unconscious" — 3 years ago

WORTH CONSUMING!

This is a really interesting book. I’m about half-way through it and I keep wanting to stop and digest a particular thought a little before moving on, but at the same time really want to see what he’s going to say next. A couple of things that stick out at the moment include:

Psychological immune system: This is the system that our brain uses to ignore or unravel thoughts that challenge our sense of well-being. The same way our body will attack foreign presences in our bodies, our mind will attack ideas that challenge ideas or beliefs that we “feel good” about. This immune system is lives mostly in our unconscious mind… as we would probably be less likely to purposefully deceive ourselves just in order to maintain the status quo in our belief system.

Who’s in charge? Most people think of the conscious mind as the CEO of our brain. It does the long-term planning and makes the important decisions while our subconscious is there mostly to do menial tasks like regulate the body, alert us to danger, filter out useless information, and come up with good dreams at night. However, there’s a lot of evidence that suggests it might not be that simple. Maybe the consciousness is more of a figurehead that is controlled by the subconscious and, like Ronald Reagan, serves more as a friendly face to manage PR with the world and come up with stories about its behavior that are easy to communicate and beneficial to the entity’s self-image, even if not entirely true. Another humorous analogy was that our conscious mind is like a kid playing a video game in an arcade without putting any money in. Things are moving on the screen but the controls aren’t actually connected. Still, he might think that he’s playing the game… especially if the controls are obscure enough and he is not sure what each of the buttons does.

The zone: Almost every area of expertise has a sense of the zone… where you know something so well that you don’t even have to think about it. You can react almost instinctively, as if on auto-pilot, more quickly and more accurately than a novice or even advanced person who isn’t in the zone can. This is the adaptive subconscious to the rescue.

Filters: The conscious mind relies on “activated” parts of the subconscious to help filter out 99% of the information that is coming in at all times. You might see an accident on the road which activates a part of your subconscious that will then be hyper-aware of danger in the road for the next couple hours. Someone might walk up behind you a few hours later and you’ll jump, startled, thinking that maybe a car was going to hit you. These filters are always being turned on an off… some stay on for years, or even forever… for example, if you went to war you may forever be activated to respond to airplanes flying overhead. Or, if you go through a bad relationship, certain personalities or physical traits might forever be activated as undesirable. This is a really interesting idea to me… it reminds me of things in Gladwell’s Blink. Our filters are so efficient that we can know in the first 5 seconds of a date whether or not there is a connection or not. Same with job interviews. Many times, even years of additional information won’t make us any better judges of a situation than we assessed in the first 5 seconds.

Confabulation: This is the ability for our brains to come up with convincing stories about ourselves. We can explain with high levels of confidence why we broke up with that person, or why we quit that job, or why we decided to go to this restaurant… but in many cases it has been shown that these stories are not necessarily true. We are almost as isolated from our own motivations as we are from the motivations of others. The concept of a “third variable” in the mind (the subconscious) could make something that seems like cause and effect (I want to be healthy, therefore I will order the salad) become more confused (perhaps hearing about a health-related illness in your family a couple days ago triggered a subconscious need to be more healthy… this is the third variable… and that then later on created the thought of wanting to be healthy AND ordering the salad). Conscious thoughts and deliberate actions could both spring forth from the same hidden subconscious motivation. Often times it’s possible that the action will even happen BEFORE the thought… with makes this third variable even more likely.

When’s the last time you asked yourself, “Why did I do that?” Isn’t it strange that we ask ourselves this question? An interesting exercise would be to catch yourself doing this and instead of asking yourself, as somebody else, even a stranger, why you did something. They would obviously have to confabulate a story with motivation that was entirely fictional (since they do not know your real motives)... and I bet most of the time their story would work just as well as your own story. We are expert story-tellers and are wonderful consumers of the confabulated narrative of our own lives. I want to learn more about his.

Accuracy:Steve Pavlina talks a lot about accuracy and how testing and improving our working model of ourselves and the world is the single most important task to take up if we desire to improve the quality of our lives over the long term. Of course, this makes sense… you can’t build a house if you don’t know who’s going to live there and what materials are available. Sometimes this involves admitting that you’re a jerk, that you’re unhealthy, that you lie, that you are mean to your friends behind their back, etc. And of course the psychological immune system wants to protect you from disturbing the well-being that not knowing who you really are affords. It seems an almost impossible and terribly unrewarding task in the short term. But perhaps beneficial in the long term. How do you bootstrap motivation in this case?

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A review of "The Man with the Golden Arm (50th Anniversary Edition)" — 3 years ago

WORTH CONSUMING!

I had to wait something like 6 years to get this off of Netflix because it was on the “very long wait” status. It was an old Frank Sinatra movie and I had heard many recommendations for it… but upon watching it I don’t think it lived up to my expectations. I may be spoiled by the wonderful dialogue of Billy Wilder’s movies and the wonderful acting of Paul Newman. The main take-away of this movie is the main character’s name, Frankie Machine. I love that. I also remember a few lines like, “I’m the kind of guy, boy when I move, watch my smoke. But I’m gonna need some good clothes though.”

I also really enjoyed Molly O’s character… she was the only person that I felt did anything unpredictable and nobel. Taking care of Frankie, and not being a complete user like everyone else in the film.

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Why I recommend "Inside Man" — 3 years ago

WORTH CONSUMING!

I liked this most merely for a handful of shots and tangent conversations in it. One of my favorite scenes was when the main dude and the partner in crime lady were hanging out in the open bank vault, one lazily hanging on the door frame, the other standing guard with the gun. It was a long stylish shot that gave the impression of severe ennui. I think it would be a good marketing campaign for Kenneth Cole. I also enjoyed the talk of romance and possible marriage proposal between detective and criminal, as cheesy and obvious as it was. I say leave the theater 20 minutes early and hit the restrooms before everyone else.

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I am killed dead. — 3 years ago

WORTH CONSUMING!

This is beautiful failure personified. Literally!

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