I love this film. It’s compelling, violent and ugly, with nary a likeable character in it, and it makes me feel like I need to have a shower. But it’s stunningly well written and acted, and features one of the most realistic drug-taking scenes ever made.

I really like Shane Meadows. This Is England is also brilliant, easily the best film I’ve seen this year.

I’m not sure I even have the right to check this off, as it was so shit I fell asleep an hour in, and couldn’t even be bothered to finish off watching it the next day. Lame and lazy.

Back by popular demand! Wispas were discontinued in 2003, but after a massive web campaign by chocolate lovers everywhere, Cadbury have made 23 million for a limited run, and have hinted that if sales are high, Wispas could be, in the words of Gary Barlow, back for good. Get your gob round one while you still can, and increase the odds of them sticking around.

Scrummy. I think this is a more chocolatey version of the Mask of Magnaminty Lush used to make. It makes my skin tingly, soft and clean, and my boyfriend said I smelled like cake, and he likes cake, and that’s good enough for me.

Weird. This appears to work.

It’s an all-natural deodorant made out of, basically, baking soda, kaolin and patchouli. It looks like a rough bar of soap, and you warm it in your hand before rubbing it on your armpits, where it leaves a creamy residue, which is nicer than it sounds. I just have a small chunk as a free tester, and it’s a bit tricky to apply because of its size, but I would imagine the larger chunks sold in the shops would be much more comfortable in the hand. Incidentally, I’ve been using the free tester for well over a fortnight now and it’s barely got any smaller at all, so I’d imagine the large chunks would last months and months, making them really good value.

I really like the fact that it’s all natural and doesn’t block my pores up, and given the scare stories about the aluminium in antiperspirants potentially causing breast cancer, I feel good about avoiding them. Plus there is no packaging apart from a slip of paper, which is good news for the environment. Handy for travelling too – I’m off to Dublin soon and I’m just going to chop off a chunk and slip it into a small tupperware container or a baggie.

As this is just a deodorant, it doesn’t stop you sweating, and I was warned by the lovely pink-haired Jen in Newcastle Lush that after years of antiperspirant blocking my pores it might be like opening the sluice gates of my pits. But as yet it hasn’t really been a problem, and it’s been pretty warm lately. Having looked into it further, it appears that it contains witch hazel, which is an astringent and may contribute to a tightening of pores which, in theory, could lessen sweating. Anyway, I haven’t been paranoid about being stinky, and I’m pretty sure I haven’t been stinky, so it’s a winner with me. When the little freebie runs out, I’ll be investing in a full size lump.

You wouldn’t think that a soapless detergent-free squishy lump of pink putty would clean your face effectively, but it really does, and it makes your skin feel lovely and soft. It’s very calming and soothing too, as it’s packed full of . The one drawback is the seaweedy, slightly fishy smell, but it’s worth it. I just had a tester pot of this, and I’m still working my way through a tub of Herbalism, but I think once that’s gone I’ll get a full-sized chunk of this and try it out in the longer term.

Warning: Do not, I repeat, do not leave this on top of a radiator, forgetting that it is set to come on in the middle of the night. Mine was in a tin, and damage was minimised, but I doubt its melting goodness and its softening and cleansing properties work all that well on a metal heating appliance.

I’ve only been using this a few days, but I am an absolute convert already. It’s ridiculously easy and fun to use – just swipe the bar over your face, massage the unctuous residue onto your skin, then wipe it off with damp cotton wool or – my choice – a nice clean washcloth soaked in warm water. I’ve taken to squeezing out a hot washcloth and laying it over my face. It makes me feel like I’m having some sort of expensive treatment, and the gorgeous smell of the essential oils is heady and intoxicating.

I’ve been using either a cream cleanser or those horrible disposable face wipes up until now, but this is easier than the former and just as easy as the latter, more effective than either of them, and without all those horrid chemicals. And it removes an extraordinary amount of dirt and makeup. Last night I wore very heavy eye makeup, and despite being very drunk, using Baby Face before bed was no bother at all, and this morning there was not so much as a trace of panda eyes.

It’s made a real difference to my skin too – it’s far softer, smoother, and finer textured. Even though it’s made of essential oils and cocoa butter, it isn’t too oily for my combination, spot-prone skin. It does leave a slight residue, but it’s not unpleasant – it just feels like really silky skin that I want to touch all the time. In the morning, I follow it up with Herbalism or Aqua Marina, so my skin feels extra clean for makeup application, but before bed I just add moisturiser and go to bed with lovely soft, scented skin. Yum. Highly recommended.

Because that’s not what it’s called in Britain. We call it The 4 Day Win: Change the Way You Think About Food and Your Body in Just 4 Days. Hooray, we removed the word “diet”!

Like I said… sick in the mouth. Might dip in and out of it at a later date, though. I may find it useful for stories to tell clients when I’m coaching. Or I might just make fun of it, cos that’s far more entertaining than the purpose for which it was designed.