Boring. Just…boring. And visually pretty terrible.

Someone on the west coast, please tell me you guys have Diet Rite. Please. I am giving up Mackinac Island fudge ice cream, I am giving up Dunkin Donuts, I am giving up Faygo. Please, please, PLEASE tell me this move to Washington will not also deprive me of my beloved Diet Rite pop.

This gets minor points for a female protagonist who decides “No, this is stupid. I’m going to get killed if I go any farther. I feel bad that my friends are trapped there, I do, but I’m not going to die with them. I’m going to wait in the car.”

I’ve seen better ghost stories on LMN.

Yes. LMN.

Why didn’t they just escape through all those giant holes in the plot?

Flawed but powerful nonetheless, and definitely an important film. Notable along with When The Wind Blows for being shown to a generation of thus-traumatized British schoolchildren.

Seriously, this is on Amazon.com? I don’t know whether to laugh or cry.

There are two potential explanations for this bizarre film:

1. Thierry Zéno was utterly serious and intended the film’s ascribed artistic meaning and post-apocalyptic symbolism.

2. Thierry Zéno was mucking around with various taboos and his own batshit insanity, but when film critics began ascribing artistic meaning and post-apocalyptic symbolism to it, he said “Yeah…sure…that’s what I meant. Totally. Yeah, let’s go with that.”

There are a lot of layers here, but you honestly cannot tell how many the filmmaker intended and how many you’re creating yourself. At any rate, it’s an…experience.

Warning: It is unconfirmed whether the bestiality shown is real or faked. It is confirmed that all of the animal deaths are real.

Surprisingly lackluster, with a big feeling of disconnect between scenes. Also, who the hell casts an actor like Christian Bale and barely uses him?

Wow. What a complete and utter waste of time.

P.S. Ryan Phillippe has a hard enough time fumbling his way through regular acting roles. Asking him to try and consistently fake an accent at the same time is just cruel.

I love not being able to remember that I’m drinking something alcoholic until I suddenly question what I’m doing on the floor.