This was not a great movie. It was very predictable.

It was also not a terrible movie. It featured a prophetic talking cow.

So you see my dilemma in rating it.

This movie is terrible. But the most entertaining kind of terrible.

Damn I love this damn ass movie.

There we go. Some insane Star Wars rippin’ off with nonstop bad special effects. Take that, Bionic Ninja!

There’s a ninja, and he’s…bionic? The KGB is in it for some reason? I don’t know. You know you’re going to watch it, it’s called Bionic Ninja for crissakes.

Protip: This film will have even more of an impact on you if you see it when you are seven.

I…have no idea what i just watched.

Makes a really good background party video.

Why, George Lucas?

Why must you ruin the things that I love?

;_;

This movie is about incestuous killer werecats. Incestuous. Killer. Werecats.

A lady stabs a guy with an ear of corn. An ear. Of. Corn.

If that doesn’t get you bad film fans going…how about cameos by Stephen King, Clive Barker, John Landis, and Tobe Hooper?