All Consuming : _glas_

Consumed "Are You Scared 2"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:12:43 GMT

Are You Scared 2

by John Lands

NOT WORTH IT!

A story about "Are You Scared 2"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:10:40 GMT

Are You Scared 2

by John Lands

This has absolutely nothing to do with the first Are You Scared, except that someone says the words “reality show” and it features the same cameras.

This film is terrible, but in a lovely incomprehensible way. Why is the exit on the third floor of the building? Why is there a guy in a Predator mask? Why are there giraffes wandering around? Why does no one in the film comment on the fact there are giraffes wandering around? Who cares? Tony Todd’s gone batshit insane and is offering his victims tea and assuring them he’s not a kangaroo. I love you, Tony Todd.

A story about "Are You Scared"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:09:02 GMT

Are You Scared

I liked this movie better when it was called Saw and didn’t feature terrible special effects and terrible acting and a terrible plot.

Consumed "Are You Scared"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 20:09:02 GMT

Are You Scared

NOT WORTH IT!

Consumed "Children"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:34:34 GMT

Children

by Tom Shankland

WORTH IT!

Consumed "Crowley"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:26:43 GMT

Crowley

by Julian Doyle

A story about "Crowley"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 11:26:17 GMT

Crowley

by Julian Doyle

What? What the hell did I just watch?

Pee. Astral projection. Naked dwarf. Black holes. Time travel. More pee. Orgies. Spanking. Masonic cults. Purple velvet pimp suit. Shakespeare. Virtual reality suit. Satanism. Uncertainty principle. School newspaper. More sex. More pee. Drugs. Chess. Quantum. E=mc2. Hypnotism. Boobies. Al Gore. Abyss.

If…if anyone can arrange the above into a plot that actually makes sense, I would appreciate it.

Consumed "Princess Maker 2"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:22:21 GMT

Princess Maker 2

by Gainax

WORTH IT!

A story about "Princess Maker 2"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:21:34 GMT

Princess Maker 2

by Gainax

Endings won so far:

Street performer
Housewife
Writer
High-class prostitute
Princess

I was trying to get nun with the street performer one. Cause, you know, juggling fire and playing a tambourine? Very close to being a nun. Very close.

Near impossible to play without the money/item cheats, or maybe I just suck at this game.

Consuming "Horses"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Wed, 11 Nov 2009 02:07:38 GMT

Horses

by Patti Smith

A story about "Troll/Troll 2"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:22:38 GMT

Troll/Troll 2

Troll 2 is the ultimate. Not the ultimate anything, just the ultimate period.

Consumed "Troll/Troll 2"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 04:22:38 GMT

Troll/Troll 2

WORTH IT!

Consumed "Stunt"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 06:00:06 GMT

Stunt

by Barenaked Ladies

WORTH IT!

Consuming "New Magics: An Anthology of Today's Fantasy"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 05:41:55 GMT

New Magics: An Anthology of Today's Fantasy

Consuming "New Skies: An Anthology of Today's Science Fiction"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 05:41:51 GMT

New Skies: An Anthology of Today's Science Fiction

by Patrick Nielsen Hayden

Consumed "Moroccan Cuisine"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 05:35:21 GMT

Moroccan Cuisine

WORTH IT!

Consumed "Aeon Flux (Special Collector's Edition)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 05:25:35 GMT

Aeon Flux (Special Collector's Edition)

by Karyn Kusama

NOT WORTH IT!

A story about "Aeon Flux (Special Collector's Edition)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 05:12:12 GMT

Aeon Flux (Special Collector's Edition)

by Karyn Kusama

The silliest of silly science fantasy, to the point where you will actually really enjoy how over the top it is. (Four hands? Those blades of grass? Really? Really?) Around the halfway point, the terrible plot will trump the silliness and you will go from amused to facepalming.

Gratuitous film is gratuitous. I mean amazingly so. The chickfights are extended and chickfighty. The sci-fi fashion evolution remains constant: Men of the future wear different coats, women of the future wear random strips of fabric and strings of beads. Which is handy when the camera so often seems to meander under and between legs for jumps and flips.

Last but not least, the anti-Oscar for most flat and wholly unemotional “No!” goes tooooo…Marton Csokas! Seriously, dude, it’s a major plot point in the film and you sound like you don’t want fries with that.

Consumed "Asparagus"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 02:41:49 GMT

Asparagus

by nature

WORTH IT!

Consumed "Shrimp & Mushroom Alfredo"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Sun, 18 Oct 2009 01:56:25 GMT

Shrimp & Mushroom Alfredo

WORTH IT!

Consumed "Child 44"

nobody@allconsuming.net (_glas_) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 22:17:49 GMT

Child 44

by Tom Rob Smith