My boyfriend and I are a little tipsy one night, and he goes into the kitchen to fix another drink. He calls to me, “do you want another… Deaf White Guy? wait, Brown African? White Russian!” So now we have to make up drinks for the other 2. I think a Deaf White Guy is just gonna be milk and vodka. Maybe flavored vodka.

Something we discovered last night: Grape juice and vanilla vodka smells like cake batter.