I’m consuming avacodo eggrolls. They’re yummy.

It was alright.

I don’t know why I picked this up. I think it was because the cover was so funny. There was nothing in there to help me really. But if anyone has ever referred to you as psycho, drama queen, desperate or clingy, this book may help.

The gentleman who wrote this was guy from The Bachelor: Paris. From the 2 or 3 episodes I saw of that season, he seems just as shallow as I remember. Again and again he felt the need to mention the fact that he is an ER doctor. It was mentioned on nearly every page. This isn’t a health or fitness book. Sometimes it was relevant to what was being discussed but most of the time it came across as bragging and having a passive know-it-all attitude.

There was some good advice in there. A little. I could see some of my younger self in some of those “that girls.” My advice is if you buy that book head straight for the chapter on how to be a good friend. Thats a wonderful chapter. The most useful in the book.

Stephanie

Why I want to consume this can be summed up in an email I wrote to a friend. Here it is:

Actually I really did enjoy my last day. Surprisingly it was kind of sad. They threw me a party with a beautiful cake. They brought some vegan foods. Well, the cake wasn’t vegan but that didn’t stop me from having two slices. All week people were saying,” I don’t know what we’re going to do without you.” They’d tell me they’d miss me and how much they had appreciated me. I got tons of hugs. All of this made me sad… and a little mad. THAT WAS ALL I WANTED! Actually that was more than I wanted or needed. I just wanted a thank you at the end of the day. I wanted someone to noticed I killing myself trying to do the work of two people and do it well. You know every job I’ve ever quit with one exception has been because I didn’t feel appreciated. I’ve left jobs for less money because of this.

I’ve been skimming through a book I bought at church. Its called Love Languages for Singles. I took the test in back and my love language was a tie between “words of affirmation” and “quality time”. I scored 9 points out of a possible 12 in each of these but I really think “words of affirmation” is my number one. And so that I don’t keep repeating the same pattern of leaving job after job because I don’t feel appreciated I have to find a way of letting employers and coworkers know this. How though, its not like on my first day I can show up and say, “Hi, I’m Stephanie. My love language is “words of affirmation” If want to keep me I’ll be requiring at least one “thank you” a day and at least two compliments on work a week from somebody. Otherwise, I’ll assume I’m not doing a good job and feel the need to go elsewhere. Its really important for me to feel both useful and appreciated.” Ack! Just rereading that it sounds like something a psychologist would suggest you say on one of those 80’s talk shows. Remember those? I remember watching them and listening to their advice thinking, Who talks like that? Maybe the book will give me some advice on how to communicate this.

Edit: In all fairness, during my last 6 weeks I was hearing more of what I needed and feeling more apprciated but the job search was already underway. I was already interviewing.

This stuff ain’t half bad.

There is something so relaxing about this show. Must be a “warm memory from childhood” association thing.

Its kind of dry reading.

It’s a cute little family film. Not the most interesting thing I’ve ever seen but I was able to watch it with my mother. The same mother who at age 24, reached over and covered my eyes during that scene in Titanic when Leo was sketching Kate on the couch. Any movie that I can watch with my mom without being uncomfortable or bored to tears gets 5 stars.

I realized this the first 5 seconds of the film. Anyone who’s seen the opening scene will know what I’m talking about. The funniest part was right after that scene, two old ladies behind me were like, “Good Lord! This is a man movie. Should we stay?” They did end up staying.

All and all it was a good fairly interesting story but 2 hours and 40 minutes? Was that length really necessary? No.

Anyone who has been following my goals since I found the Robot Co-op sites, knows that I have had a lot of questions and issues about forgiveness. This book answered nearly all my questions about forgiveness; even the tough ones.

I learned that there is a HUGE difference between forgiving behavior and condoning it and that trust and forgiveness are two COMPLETELY different things; contrary to what some manipulative people have told me in the past. (I knew that mess didn’t sound right.) I learned about justice vs revenge. Justice is more about discipline and correcting behavior. Revenge on the other hand is a more selfish destructive emotion.

Two years ago I never, never thought I could forgive people. Now that I now what true forgiveness is and what it involves I see that I wasn’t as far off as I had been lead to believe. This is totally do-able.

My favorite line of the book is a quote from another book by Anne Lamott. It says, In fact not forgiving is like drinking rat poison, and waiting for the rat to die.

Forgiveness is going easier than I thought; now that I know the real meaning of it. (sigh of relief) I feel a little lighter now. Let the forgiving begin.