All Consuming : Krystle Fleming

Awful (rated 1 star)

nobody@allconsuming.net (Krystle Fleming) — Wed, 10 Jan 2007 21:10:17 GMT

Snakes on a Plane (Widescreen New Line Platinum Series)

by David R. Ellis

I don’t know why I even rented this movie. I KNEW it was going to be awful. My husband knew as well. He wouldn’t even put the DVD in the player. He made me claiming he didn’t want to be responsible for the crap we were about to witness.

Samuel Jackson is an awesome actor. Why he’d agree to do this film is beyond me. It was just horrid.

Freaking awful

nobody@allconsuming.net (Krystle Fleming) — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 19:01:59 GMT

Bloodrayne (Unrated Director's Cut)(DVD ROM game is included)

by Uwe Boll

Do yourself a favor, skip this movie and just have a friend beat the hell out of you for two hours with a baseball bat instead. You will have a much better time I promise you.

A story about "Eurotrip (Unrated Widescreen Edition)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Krystle Fleming) — Tue, 05 Sep 2006 13:38:26 GMT

Eurotrip (Unrated Widescreen Edition)

by Jeff Schaffer

Scotty doesn’t know a lot of things. For instance, how to make a web based email to get around his ISP mail account being blocked. I’ll suspend disbelief though else this movie would have no plot and would have ended in 10 minutes.

Stupid movie but insanely funny… although I threw up a little in my mouth during the beach scene full of ugly nude men.

Why I recommend "Memoirs of a Geisha"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Krystle Fleming) — Tue, 09 May 2006 00:49:47 GMT

Memoirs of a Geisha

by Arthur Golden

Memoirs of a Geisha is such a beautifully written novel. I found it nearly impossible to put down and read until my eyes felt as if they were about to burst out of their sockets.

It’s hard to believe it was written by a man, even harder still to believe that the character of Sayuri never really existed.

A review of "The Devil's Rejects (Unrated Widescreen Edition)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Krystle Fleming) — Thu, 27 Apr 2006 07:46:59 GMT

The Devil's Rejects (Unrated Widescreen Edition)

by Rob Zombie

Good God that was horrible. Ebert and Roeper gave it two thumbs up? Someone needs to cut off their damn thumbs and shove them down their throats.

Rob Zombie… you made me cry. Shame on you. You aren’t suppose to suck.

Why I gave up consuming "From a Buick 8 : A Novel"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Krystle Fleming) — Sun, 23 Apr 2006 15:11:06 GMT

From a Buick 8 : A Novel

by Stephen King

I love Stephen King but I just could not get into this book. I read the first few pages and it was starting so slow that I decided to skip ahead a few chapters where most of his novels really start getting interesting. That didn’t work. I read a chapter or so and then skipped ahead again hoping it would draw my interest. Still… nothing. I forced myself to read quite a few chapters anyway, but finally I just realized the novel wasn’t going to interest me no matter what and set it aside.

A story about "Kingdom of Spiders"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Krystle Fleming) — Fri, 21 Apr 2006 20:50:49 GMT

Kingdom of Spiders

by John 'Bud' Cardos

Such a horrid yet strangely amusing horror flick. Anything with William Shatner is unintentionally funny. His overacting is pure comedy.

Millions of murderous spiders loose in the Desert yet he goes on a horseride to romance the chick? I’d expect nothing less.

One of the funniest scenes in the movie doesn’t involve him though. It’s obviously not suppose to be funny but it’s so incredibly stupid you can’t help but laugh. Spiders have overrun a woman’s house and she’s shooting them with her gun. Hundreds of them.. then one gets on her hand and she shoots it off. Apparently shooting her own hand off is much easier than brushing the spider off.

A story about "Freddy vs. Jason"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Krystle Fleming) — Mon, 20 Feb 2006 20:36:25 GMT

Freddy vs. Jason

by Ronny Yu

I nearly killed myself when watching this flick to avoid the horror. No not the ‘horror’ in the movie, the horror from having to sit through such a pile of crap. Fortunately I remembered my dvd had an off button.

Why even attempt to make this ‘fight’ into a full length movie? A 5 minute battle would have satisfied most people. Greed.

A question I have about "Witness"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Krystle Fleming) — Sat, 18 Feb 2006 07:03:36 GMT

Witness

by Peter Weir

It’s been years since I’d seen this movie, and I’d forgotten nearly everything about it. I am now left wondering why it is that the Amish came running when the boy rang the bell, but didn’t haul ass over the hill when the gunshots rang out. Wouldn’t the sound of gunshots in amish paradise be more out of the ordinary then a bell ringing? I mean, it’s not like they hear the sound of those bells every day of their life or anything…

A story about "The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King (Widescreen Edition)"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Krystle Fleming) — Sat, 18 Feb 2006 06:35:59 GMT

The Lord of the Rings - The Return of the King (Widescreen Edition)

While I liked the movie, it was not as great as I was hoping. I am a longtime fan of the books and so I did not have the luxury of watching the movie just for the movie’s sake. Many things I was hoping to see were not in the movie. They showed the wedding of Sam and Rose, but not the one of Aragorn and Arwen. The movie tended to drag on occasion. Many things were left unexplained. Things someone who read the book would know, but not everyone has read the books, and those of us who have would have liked to have seen them just the same. The courtship of Faramir and Eowyn did not make it into the theatrical release, nor the fact that Aragorn made Faramir a Prince. It also never mentioned the fact that Eomer became King of Rohan when Theoden fell, but perhaps people could determine that on their own.

I am probably disappointed the most that they added a completely useless scene where Elrond tells Aragorn that Arwen is dying. That her life force is now attached to the ring. It made no sense at all, and was never mentioned again. I also do not remember seeing anything to do with Aragorn bringing the white tree back to Gondor. All I remember seeing was him jump over the side of the boat and rush the Orcs, while the Legions of the Dead swarmed in behind him. Many things were missing in fact, but still… overall the movie was quite good. Just not what I was expecting I guess, but it was in no way a real disappointment.

One final note, “The hands of the King are the hands of a healer.” This should have definately been included in the movie, yet it was not. In fact, no reference at all was made to the houses of healing, which was always one of my favorite parts of ROTK. I am however, very glad that Jackson chose to leave out the Scouring of the Shire. I was never fond of that part of the story at all..

A story about "Cabin Fever - Special Edition"

nobody@allconsuming.net (Krystle Fleming) — Sat, 18 Feb 2006 05:34:16 GMT

Cabin Fever - Special Edition

I have watched Cabin Fever a few times, don’t ask me why. It’s a horrible movie but for some reason it’s stupidity amuses me. If you don’t want it spoiled for you quit reading now. Quite frankly, I am glad they all died. They deserved it. They were horrible friends. Would you put your dying friend in a shed alone with a killer dog on the loose? I don’t care if my friend’s skin was rotting off, my first concern would be for their health and not my own. I trust that none of my friends would deliberately hurl in my face and infect me. Besides, if all your friends were dying… would it really be so bad to go with them? Oh and the ending. My God. What the hell was that? Hillbilly Rap? It made me want to stick a red hot poker in my ear.

Even Boy meets World boy (who I assume we’re suppose to like) really pissed me off. He’s in love with this one girl forever, she gets the plague and so he bumps uglies with his friend’s girl? I would have pushed him into the lake myself. Atleast Rider Strong can actually act. I have no idea where they found the rest of the cast. You know a movie is awful when my husband makes fun of the acting. Bad acting usually doesn’t bother him that much. Especially in a movie that has boobs.