This is a beautiful book, from start to finish. It wasn’t as intense as some books I’ve read, but it held me captivated. I’m not sure I can even summarize the plot properly, but it’s a story about family – well, about women, mostly (at least that’s how I read it) . . . mothers and daughters and sisters. One of the main characters, Ruth, is concerned about her mother, LuLing, who seems to be experiencing dementia. Their relationship has never been an easy one, nor is Ruth’s relationship with her live-in partner. But when Ruth discovers a manuscript her mother had written about her life in China – a story which included family secrets and all sorts of things that Ruth hadn’t known – she learns some things about her mother, and by extension, herself, which lead to some changes in all of their lives.

We experience Ruth’s mother’s story as Ruth does – reading LuLing’s writing, so it becomes a story within a story. We learn the the truth about LuLing’s “Precious Auntie” and the rest of her family, as well as the events (some heartbreaking) of LuLing’s early life. I found the contrast to be extraordinarily moving. In the first part of the book, told from Ruth’s point of view, it is easy (for me, anyway) to view LuLing as pretty much a big pain in the ass. LuLing is difficult and critical and mostly unpleasant and unreasonable when we see her through Ruth’s eyes. (And, Ruth, of course, has her own faults). But in reading LuLing’s story, in learning the events which shaped her . . . well, it puts her character in an entirely new light. Not just for me, but also, we discover later in the book, for Ruth. It was interesting to first hear from Ruth about LuLing’s tendency to be superstitious (believing in harmful ghosts and curses), and then to see the tragic events in LuLing’s life which probably reinforced those beliefs she’d been taught as a child. Another thing I loved was the relationship between LuLing and her sister – just incredible, especially as we learn more about their childhood together.

I found the way LuLing’s story was told to be very interesting – understated, not melodramatic or intense, even when the events themselves were frightening or tragic. It was almost as though she had come to accept all that happened, and was no longer upset by it. But, if that was truly the case, I would have expected her to have behaved differently with her own daughter.

In any case, I loved this book, and it has inspired me to think a lot about my own life – about the things I remember, the events that shaped me and my mother and her mother. About the meaning of truth, and of the importance of history – or perhaps that the really important thing is to move through the pain and enjoy the happy things in life. While I’ve made an effort above, I still feel like I’m having trouble describing my feelings about this book. I will say again that it was truly beautiful, one of the best books I’ve read in a long while, maybe one of my favourites ever. I picked up two of Tan’s other books today, that I’d not read before. I’m really looking forward to them, hoping they’ll be of similar quality to this one.

This woman is even more “progressive” about parenting issues than I am – and I consider myself fairly progressive, meaning going against what’s considered to be the current “norm.” It was an interesting book, in spite of the fact that even I found some of her ideas radical. She talks about the benefits of breastfeeding well past infancy, co-sleeping, no daycare, all of which are choices I made, as well . . . attachment parenting; but she’s taken it to it’s extreme. Her ideal seems to be constant togetherness between mother and children, for, well, I’m not sure when she intends it to end, as she advocates homeschooling, as well. She also advocates a fruitarian diet for the entire family – just fruits and nuts. Period. I’m not a nutritionist, so perhaps that really is a healthy diet, but it sounds a bit limited to me. She also talks about homebirth, not immunizing children against diseases, and some other things along those lines. She’s got some good ideas, and makes strong arguments at times.

However, I do have a fairly substantial gripe with the book. There are a few things that bother me. First, while I’m willing to be open-minded about the things she suggests, she seems to have a “my way or the highway” attitude going on – that any woman who doesn’t follow Halfmoon’s ideals has been brainwashed by the medical/pharmaceutical/patriarchal, etc. society, and needs to wake up and take back her power. Which in this case means following all of the advice given in this (and the author’s other, oft-mentioned) books. I do have a problem with this. Not all of the the things she advocates are going to be good choices for all families, and, while she complains about how others have judged her, she seems to be falling into the same trap herself, by judging anyone who does things differently from the way she’s done them. Hey, it’s cool to feel strongly about things, especially in such an emotionally charged subject as parenting. But I don’t think it’s appropriate to ever say that “THIS” is the ONLY way to do things properly, or you’re brainwashed or a bad parent. Ugh. I would have much preferred to read a book offering these ideas as valid suggestions, while acknowledging that other parenting decisions can be equally valid, as well.

Second, she seems to discount entirely that men have any right to be parents. Her attitude seems to be that, as long as they’re not abusive or disagreeing with the mother’s decisions, it’s okay to keep them around, but they’re not really necessary nor even that useful. Now, in some cases, this is true. There are (IMO) men who do not live up to the standard that I’d want as a parent for my child. (Fortunately my son’s father does not fall into this category). But I think it’s outrageous to declare that men who aren’t being abusive in some way shouldn’t have any rights at all in the raising of their children.

She also makes a few bold claims which are, in my experience, simply untrue. For example, she says that babies who are carried in slings are “always” blissful and never cry. I will accept that her children never cried. (I’m skeptical, but perhaps it’s true). That, however, was not at all my experience using a sling. We tried it, my son didn’t like it, so we didn’t use it. Now, this doesn’t mean I think slings are bad – they work for lots of people. Just not for everyone as Halfmoon insists, and all babies will not be “blissful” when worn. There are examples of this sort of thing throughout the book, and when I catch her out in making a claim that I know to be untrue from my own personal experience, I have to wonder where else she is exaggerating, as well. I’ve thought of a couple other examples of information I found dodgy: she states that looking directly into the sun is good for one’s vision (in spite of the fact that this is well-known to cause blindness); and she says that skin cancer is a myth perpetuated by the sunscreen industry, and that if one eats only fruit (as she does), there are no toxins to burn in the skin, so you can have unlimited sun exposure with no risk. ??!?

So, on the whole, it was hard for me to enjoy this book, because I found the author to be intolerant of opinions other than her own. Which is a shame, because she does make some good arguments – that women should trust their own instincts when making decisions regarding their children, and not just blindly trust what “society” tells them to do. I’ve flown in the face of societal pressure a few times, but that doesn’t mean I think everything society tells us is wrong. I do believe that I’m the best judge of what my child needs (yes, a better judge than even his father is), but that doesn’t mean that I feel my husband should have no voice in the way we raise our son. So, the book was interesting, but I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who is looking for actual parenting advice – I think she goes too far in rejecting the current norms, which is likely as unhealthy as following them without question, and she doesn’t leave much room for people to honour their own wisdom – she seems to want everyone to agree with hers.

READ THIS BOOK. It’s really eye-opening, likening our society’s rampant consumerism to a deadly disease. It really did change the way I think about certain things, and I think it’s an important and interesting book. Seriously, read this book.

Wow, this is a fantastic book on Vipassana meditation. Funny story as to why I read it now . . . a couple of weeks ago, I wanted to read something on meditation, having recently started a practice again. So, I was looking on my shelves for “It’s Easier Than You Think,” which I remember as being a good book. But in looking, this book caught my eye, and I thought, “Hmnh. What is that? I didn’t remember buying it, and I wasn’t sure what it was about based on the title.” So, I pulled it out, and, well, lookie here! It’s about meditation! Well, if that’s not a sign, I don’t know what is. Turns out I must have read at least parts of it before, since a couple of the pages were dogeared, but I don’t remember much of it at all. It’s a wonderful book, with lots of discussion on Vipassana (or mindfulness) meditation, and a few guided meditations to try, as well. Plus there’s lots of general spiritual guidance here. I’d highly recommend this to anyone who wants to learn to meditate, or go deeper with their practice.

I read this book as a teenager, and admit that it did have some impact on me. However, I’ve subsequently learned that it’s not an actual diary – it was written as a morality lesson, by an adult woman. So, fiction, not non-fiction.