Usually, MST3K movies are worth watching, simply because they’re so bad they’re good. This movie, however, is so bad it’s just really bad. The jokes made by the MST3K guys were simply not enough to make up for how truly horrible the movie is. I regret the hour and a half of my life that I lost to this movie.

Why is the movie so bad?
1. Scenes are dragged out waaaay too long. I didn’t really need to see 10 minutes of driving in the countryside.
2. These long scenes are continued across multiple scene breaks. 10 minutes worth of girls wrestling in the sand is not made any more significant by the fact that it is broken into four 2.5-minute chunks.
3. There are scenes which are completely unrelated to the storyline in any way. I did not need to see three scenes of that couple making out in their car.
4. The characters are not compelling. I can’t identify with any of them. None of their actions are in any way realistic.
5. There are waaay to many non-sequitors and unexplained occurences. It makes the plot hard to follow. What little plot there is…

I feel like the movie would have been somewhat compelling if unnecessary scenes had been cut, leaving about 3 minutes of action. That would have been a short film which would have had an interesting message, made the audience think, and been worth watching.