This is a classic book about expressing love and appreciation, particularly to one’s husband or wife.

Gary Chapman’s theory is that there are five ‘languages’ of love, but that we are usually only ‘fluent’ in one or two of them. The languages are: words of appreciation, giving gifts, physical touch, acts of service, and quality time.

Thus, he claims, if – for example – a husband’s primary language is gifts, and his wife’s is quality time, then he might keep buying her presents but feel unloved because she rarely buys him anything. At the same time, she might long to spend more time with him, and feel unloved because he’s so busy… and then might feel that the gifts were manipulative, trying to buy her off.

He recounts many anecdotes of couples who have been helped by discovering their primary love languages, and who have then learned, slowly, to speak each other’s.

It wasn’t anything new to me, as I’d come across similar theories before, but I found the writing excellent, the stories inspiring, and the whole book very encouraging and thought-provoking.

There’s a questionnaire at the end to help people discover their love languages, but I found the text of the book more helpful.

All in all, highly recommended to anyone in any kind of romantic relationship, particularly if either partner is feeling somewhat empty or unloved.

Don’t ask. I like what this book has to say about the different between real love and infatuation. Didn’t get much else out of it than I already realized..