There may be something wrong with a book that requires an explanatory note from the publisher at the end just so you can figure it out. I read this book because it was supposed to shed some insight into what’s going on in the TV show Lost, and indeed, there are several parallels. There is a strange world that doesn’t operate according to the laws of physics. There is an underground place where a mysterious substance called omnium produces whatever you like, much like Lost’s “magic box.” There are also three strange-looking policemen who are obsessed with bicycles and taking meaningless recordings, who make their police barracks inside a two-dimensional house and the walls of a mansion, and who tend to describe difficult things as “a pancake” (whereas pancakes are actually very easy). If you’re looking for clarification, you won’t find it here, I’m afraid.

I do get that hell is repetition, and this is O’Brien’s vision of hell. While I don’t find the book to be particularly funny, despite its description as a comic novel, it is, despite its absurdity, very readable, and that’s what saves it for me. I may not understand everything that’s going on, but I do want to find out what happens next. How it all relates to the endless footnotes about the fictional wacko philosopher de Selby, who is the obsession of the no-name narrator—well, maybe I’ll let someone else figure that out.

The name of the book’s hero is never revealed, although we do learn a little of his past. His father worked as a farmer, while his mother ran a pub – both, unfortunately, died while our hero was still young. He was subsequently sent to a boarding school and, although the pub and farm were now technically his, a certain John Divney was employed to run both while he finished his education. It’s while he’s at school our hero first stumbles across the work of a scientist called De Selby. Although De Selby appears to have been an utter crackpot, our hero falls under his spell and decides to gather a collection of De Selby’s works, and those of his more noted commentators. His search, at one point, sees him breaking his left leg so badly, it has to be replaced by a wooden leg.

Eventually, he returns to the ancestral home, where – for the first time – he meets Divney. Where De Selby is a crackpot, Divney is clearly a thief and a rogue of the highest order – he is, however, kept on to help on around the farm. At the same time, our hero decides to dedicate himself to writing the definitive `De Selby Index’. Once finished, he knows he has completed a work of great importance. However, he also knows he’ll have to publish it himself – something he just doesn’t have the money for. The ever-scheming Divney has a cunning plan, however : unfortunately, it involves the duo murdering a rich and aged neighbour called Mathers.

The attack goes relatively well for the pair : Mathers dies, the cashbox is removed from the corpse – which, in turn, is carefully buried – and nobody gets caught. Unfortunately, Divney sneaks off and hides the cashbox and waits three years before revealing where he’s hidden it : under the floorboards of a certain room in Mather’s house. It’s our hero who’s dispatched to collect it – however, the second he touches it, things change dramatically. The box disappears, our hero realises he has forgotten his name, he starts having conversations with his soul (which he christens Joe)...and he discovers Mathers sitting in a chair watching him. During the ensuing conversation with his murder victim, he hears of a nearby police barracks, staffed by Sergeant Pluck and Policeman MacCruiskeen. (There is also a mysterious third policeman by the name of Fox who apparently hasn’t been seen in twenty-five years. As it turns out, however, he is still on the beat). What our forgetful hero hears about Pluck and MacCruiskeen, however, inspires him to visit the pair – in the hope they’ll be able to find his cashbox for him. Naturally, things don’t quite go according to plan…

There are a number of words that spring to mind when trying to describe “The Third Policeman”...bizarre and surreal would be prominent, so it may not be to everyone’s tastes. There’s also quite a few footnotes, relating to the work of De Selby, some of which are a little too detailed – you could probably skip them without losing any of the enjoyment of the story.

You know the phrase “It was so good I couldn’t put it down”, well, for me, this book was the complete embodiment of that! I was reading it while I was eating, sitting, on the computer, in the bath, on the toilet, making coffee and walking from one of these tasks to the other!
So funny and surreal- and it sticks with you for ages. I recommend this to everyone I can!
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I think this is the best thing since Lewis Carroll.

I read this long, long ago. It’s funny, bizarre, entertaining.

Extremely funny and bizarre, especially the “atomic theory” and the protagonist’s obsession with De Selby. (6/27/04)

Fantastical, imaginative, and deadpan. I loved this book.

Dreamlike, gently-surreal wanderings through a strange and endless patch of Irish countryside. Absorbingly good, with a great ending.