I haven’t had the “original” Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster: as much fun as it sounds, I can’t find a bottle of Ol’ Janx Spirit in any liquor store in Edmonton. But I did find a recipe for the cocktail from a bar called, get this, Zaphod Beeblebrox’s. So I figured it was worth a shot. And it definitely was. Here’s the recipe:

Shake together 1 oz Jack Daniels, 1 oz peach schnapps, and 4-6 oz orange juice with ice. Pour into a highball glass, and then pour in a splash of blue curacao. Garnish with a slice of lemon and an olive.

(And yes, the olive is required.)

Here’s what the Encyclopedia Galactica has to say about alcohol. It says that alcohol is a colourless volatile liquid formed by the fermentation of sugars and also notes its intoxicating effect on certain carbon-based life forms. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. The Guide also tells you on which planets the best Pan Galactic Gargle Blasters are mixed, how much you can expect to pay for one and what voluntary organizations exist to help you rehabilitate afterwards. The Guide even tells you how you can mix one yourself. The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica.

• Take the juice from one bottle of that Ol’ Janx Spirit.

• Pour into it one measure of water from the seas of Santraginus V.

• Allow three cubes of Arcturan Mega-gin to melt into the mixture (it must be properly iced or the benzene is lost).

• Allow four litres of Fallian marsh gas to bubble through it (in memory of all those happy Hikers who have died of pleasure in the Marshes of Fallia).

• Over the back of a silver spoon float a measure of Qualactin Hypermint extract, redolent of all the heady odours of the dark Qualactin Zones; subtle, sweet, and mystic.

• Drop in the tooth of an Algolian Suntiger. Watch it dissolve, spreading the fires of the Algolian suns deep into the heart of the drink.

• Sprinkle Zamphour.

• Add an olive.

• Drink… but… very carefully…

• Delicious.