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Blackwater Valley Exorcism
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Terrible. Yet I was entertained? — 2 years ago

WORTH CONSUMING!

Why is it that all people possessed live on ranches out in the middle of nowhere? And why do the possessed always run to the barn/stable?

This poor excuse for a family was totally contrived, as was most of the acting in general. The father was an idiot. He was hostile towards anyone and everyone, even his own daughter.

A lot of the actors sounded as though they read the script but didn’t really understand it. A lot of the lines were said with an emotion that didn’t match what they were actually saying.

Every character had their own trite sob story and every man their obscenely hostile side.

The makeup artist of this movie should be shot, as well as wardrobe. Having this girl look like a badly spooked out honeymooner was difficult to take seriously. Her constant sexual advances on everyone around her made it look like the writers didn’t know how to create someone evil (then again there was a lot of pointless sex in this thrown together plot.) I have to admit, she was a little scary though.

The priest’s acting was one of the worst, not to mention he looks very similar to my freshman year earth science teacher. Hard to take him seriously at all.

Then there was Claire, stupid whore who was a whiney bitch the whole time. “You didn’t have sex with me, so you don’t love me!” No wonder she’s sexually frustrated and bitchy about it, she looks like she has the body of a sixty year old (shitty makeup artist doesn’t help her), she never gets laid. Then again she apparantly practices dark magic? There were so many ridiculous plotlines I didn’t know what was going on.

Ultimately the ending earns a total “wtf?” response.

Overall, this was a pretty terrible movie. The sad part is, I enjoyed it more than the Exorcism of Emily Rose.


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