All I can say is that I am glad I bought this out of the clearance section at Half Price Books and did not pay full price for it. I love books and I try to have respect for them because I know how difficult they are to write. Not only that, but I know how difficult they are to get accepted for publication and there is a part of me that fervently wants to believe all books that make it into print have merit and value or else why would a publisher pay good money for them? My paperback copy of mouth to mouth has a blurb on it “A fabulous author!” and I began the thing searching in good faith for evidence of this claim. Sadly, such evidence is lacking—so much so that I wonder if the reviewer actually read the book or was only sucked in by the rather clever cover graphics. I didn’t actually finish the book, although I gave it the old college try, but you see I have set as one of my goals on 43things to stop reading through completely or watching through completely books and movies and televisions shows that give every evidence early on that they are just not worth the investment of time and this book was one of those books and so I was bound to respect myself enough to honor my goals. “What?” you may exclaim, “I see no evidence of such a goal!” “Ahh!” I will now respond. “This book has made me determined to go and set such a goal for myself as soon as I finish this review.” I will sleep so much better tonight.

But what could be so horrible about this novel? Good question. Imagine if you will a pubescent girl who has just discovered the mysteries of sex (we hope not on a first-hand basis, but rather in the time-honored manner of word of mouth in some back alley or school luchroom where so many of us learned about such things) about the same time she has felt the first stirrings of lust toward that days’ equivalent of David Cassidy or Donnie Osmond or Justin Timberlake. Imagine if you will she acts out with her Barbie dolls such scenes of passion as she imagines goes on between men and women who find themselves alone together with all the turgid desire and rampaging hormones flooding their bodies. Imagine the dialogue and the scenarios created in the rather uninformed and naiive imagination of said pubescdent girl. (Don’t laugh. If you have ever been a pubescent girl, I’m sure you can relate and, truth be told, have some memories of your own to tap into.)

Now imagine someone overheard said pubescent playacting and wrote it all down and published it in a book. That book would be this book. Unimaginative, one-dimensional, stock characters, story, plot, etc. About the only thing I can think that this book might be useful for is if you happen to be out of fantasies to get your juices going. You could just skip all the in-between parts and find every “hot flesh”, “swollen”, “trembling”, “passion” coital cliche and mark them for future reference. Only I’m not sure even that would be worth it because even in the sex scenes, the author demonstrates a distinct lack of imagination.

mouth to mouth is one huge yawn fest. Give it a miss.