Ugh. — 4 years ago
I liked the movie overall, it’s just I don’t know how to feel about it. It kinda left me feeling depressed. A lot of good characters died, especially Norrington, which made me very upset because that kiss with Elizabeth was SO HOT. I didn’t like how they just kinda let go of the whole Calypso thing after they freed her; I did a happy dance at calling Tia Delma as being Davey Jones’s lover, something I figured since Dead Man’s Chest. I felt like there were a lot of holes in the plot and things unexplained, like Jack’s whole issue with Beckett and what Jack’s mark was on him. I think what really bummed me out more than anything was the Will & Elizabeth ordeal. After all the issues they went through in the past two movies and now they only get to see each other once every 10 years? That’s messed up. I would have been a lot happier if say they sailed together forever but him being with his dad forever on the Dutchman? YAWN. I think Barbossa is the only character who gets a 10/10 for being awesome. Davey Jones was mostly a wimp, which makes me sad considering he was beyond kickass in Dead Man’s Chest, making him my favorite villain of all time next to Darth Vader. The fight scenes were great, especially when Barbossa married Elizabeth & Will, and Jack’s entrance was as grand as ever. The humor was good, as well as the acting and music was awesome. I give it a 7 out of 10.
I found this review on IMDb who pretty much was on the same page as me. These are the 10 reasons why he didn’t like the movie, which I happen to agree with:
1. Will and Elizabeth have about the least satisfying end to their romance imaginable.
2. Davey Jones became such a tool so fast. He didn’t even put up a fight to Beckett. He was completely different than the first movie for the first 2 hours or so.
3. Calypso’s whole thing was utterly pointless.
4. Beckett and Jack had a past… What was it? They kept referring to it for two whole movies. What’s the deal? There was also a hint that Beckett was present at the previous pirate lord meeting. What was up with Beckett? They didn’t do anything with his character at all. I felt nothing for him one way or the other.
5. Norrington was done a total disservice as a character. It’s like the writers felt they had too much going on so they might as well kill Norrington off after 5 minutes of screen time. They set his character up so much in the first two movies as well! Why spend so much time on him if he’s gonna be a total non-factor in the third?
6. I didn’t buy the Elizabeth Swan Pirate King thing for one bit. Seemed completely forced and contrived.
7. Chow Yun Fat was a non-character. He might as well not been in the movie.
8. Didn’t care one little bit about the pirate lords and their meeting. Cut em’ all out of the movie.
9. Elizabeth’s dad was killed with very little depth or drama. I felt he was done a disservice. And why didn’t Elizabeth kill Beckett to avenge him? That angle was pretty much forgotten.
10. Jack was a virtual non-factor in this movie. It was like they set up the movie and had the plot they wanted, but then they added Jack. He makes a few twists and turns, does this and that, but really has no effect on the outcome of the story. They set him up in the last two movies to do something truly heroic, but it never happened. As such I became weary of Jack Sparrow. I never thought I would say that.