Three days after incredible heartbreak, I forced myself to get to FAO Schwarz in the rain. I wandered through the shelves upon shelves of teddy bears and other stuffed animals. And then one of Gund’s bears lept out at me. Its arms were too long, it was really fat, it had a tiny head and huge nose. Best of all, the one I picked up’s ears weren’t sewn on straight. They were lopsided. I fell in love.

He’s the dopiest bear of all time. I’ve named him Benedict Arnold. He may betray his country, his people, and his revolution, but baby, he’ll never betray me.