To Calm My Unquieted Mind!
Minneapolis
A question I have about this — 3 years ago
Okay, help a sistah out…
If the definition of this word is accurate below (as found on dictionary.com), then how in heaven or hell does this photo of an African American male seem appropriate? Hmmm?
Okay, one could call this overly sensitive – I prefer to think of it as simply “paying attention”. No hostility or anything… but, just inquiry.
The list I saw it on had all sorts of words with photos next to them. I didn’t exam all the words & photos in detail, but noticed many, including this one. All the others I noticed were appropriate for the word – reciprocal had a photo of two people hugging… things like that.
So, is this saying that “Black” folk are oily or smarmy or self-important or what? Or is it just a lovely photo to go along with a smart little word?
Things that make you go… hmmmmm????
1. characterized by excessive piousness or moralistic fervor, esp. in an affected manner; excessively smooth, suave, or smug.
2. of the nature of or characteristic of an unguent or ointment; oily; greasy.
3. having an oily or soapy feel, as certain minerals.
1. Characterized by affected, exaggerated, or insincere earnestness: “the unctuous, complacent court composer who is consumed with envy and self-loathing” (Rhoda Koenig).
2. Having the quality or characteristics of oil or ointment; slippery.
3. Containing or composed of oil or fat.
4. Abundant in organic materials; soft and rich: unctuous soil.
unctuous
adj : unpleasantly and excessively suave or ingratiating in manner or speech; “buttery praise”; “gave him a fulsome introduction”; “an oily sycophantic press agent”; “oleaginous hypocrisy”; “smarmy self-importance”; “the unctuous Uriah Heep” [syn: buttery, fulsome, oily, oleaginous, smarmy]
Comments
thelepo
Michigan
It's just...
a picture. Settle. I am sorry if the picture offends you, or if you take it in the wrong way, I am pretty sure the poster of the picture was just implying the look on his face. It’s smug, kind of “playerish” an excessively suave way of talking could be used by someone like this.
Does this mean that the poster clearly meant to direct it at a person of such skin tone? I highly doubt that.
I am sure I will recieve a comment back disecting what I say and throwing it out the window. But man, seriously, calm down with accusations based on skin color, I know you didn’t say it harmfully or harshfully but you still did pick apart something so simple and change it into something completely different.
Anyway, have a good day.
To Calm My Unquieted Mind!
Minneapolis
Your point...
... is well taken… except…
... that all too often folks claim that others are being overly sensitive about things so that their own behaviour is excused.
Am I stating for a fact what the poster’s intent was? Of course not. But, people say & do offensive, hurtful, sexist, racist, etc sorts of things all the time & then claim it was nothing & everyone else should just relax.
I am not one to offend easily or get all heated over things – nor was I this time (even though at times above you implied otherwise). I said something about this photo because I feel like we all need to speak up – even when it isn’t comfortable to do so – about things that don’t feel right. Will doing so in this instance bring about peace on earth? Hardly… but, maybe it will make those with open hearts & minds really stop & think about the messages that are being sent to us all the time.
It’s never “just a picture”. Study a bit about how the public responds to the images the media puts out (regardless of what the verbal message is) & you will see time & time again – that a picture is always more than just a picture…
Now, that all being said… this is just my 50 cents on the matter… I haven’t arrived at any definitive “answer” to “it all”, but I am just voicing my thoughts like everyone else…
Peace… (you have a good day too)
thelepo
Michigan
Never meant to imply your offense
But by bringing up the issue, you could have actually brought up what more people would have just seen as just a guy.
I am not trying to fight with you exactly so I hope my opinions cause no offense, I am just speaking up as you say.
If anything that I’ve noticed about the whole race issue is that people ARE overly sensitive. Now.. if someone calls some a racial slur, or… someone right out points an inequality based on race now that is the time to speak up.
What has transpired here is a subject that most no one would have noticed, and therefore NOW they take it into racial consideration. They may think “Oh crap! She’s right!”.
But in fairness if this were a word about calling someone a racist, the chances are, the picture would be a white person, most likely a hick, but does that mean that only white people are racists… no. Just a broad generalization.
If we cannot use generalizations if not even to get a point acrossed using what people already associate then half of the world would be censored and shut up leaving us silenced.
Chances are, our conversation could have even very well upset the user who posted the picture, and what you pointed out could have even made them mad, they could have felt threatned, or just felt they have to change the picture they put up there. Because they feel bad for what they someone. Guilty over nothing.
But what is that doing? That is changing their first choice in a picture that they chose, for certin reasons, and silenceing their symbolism to the word. Does that mean that is everyones? No. If’d even serve justice they could probably change it for you.
But that was just not their original intent now was it?
You’re right, a picture is never just a picture, a picture speaks a thousand words. But just like with any piece of art, just like with any picture, just like with any video, are those same thousand words spoken to all as they are to you?
Chances are no.
I am sorry about what you may have thought of the picture, and maybe it will get changed by someone, but I can guarentee I just saw an entirely different side to the same photo.
Later.
To Calm My Unquieted Mind!
Minneapolis
Really...
... to go on any further would be futile. I think maybe you are infering something in my observations, inquiries, comments that just isn’t there – any degree of hostility or anger. I could be wrong – but that seems to be the slant of where you are coming from, my apologies if I am mistaken.
This isn’t about guilt or innocense & there is far more ugly out there in the world than that which comes up & slaps us in the face. Your not seeing it or feeling it is a luxury of the colour of your skin. I mean no offense by that – just speaking the truth as I see it. I am not looking to argue or send out negative energy either. But, just because you don’t see a certain perspective – does not make it invalid or non-existent. Nor does my questioning the intent of this photo make the subject of the inquiries fact – merely my desire for us all, myself included, to think deeper about that which is put before us on a daily basis.
There is no way that I am stating my inquiries as absolute fact – I have stated that over & over again. What I do state as fact is that institutionalized racism is everywhere. There are all sorts of messages that are sent to us in all sorts of subtle ways that “teach” us what to believe. Think of the whyte parent who verbally teaches his/her children that all people are equal & so forth, but as he/she walks down the street & someone “Black” walks down the street the opposite way that parent says nothing, but squeezes that child’s hand tighter & pulls him/her closer – something that is not done except when that parent feels the child is in danger. That is one of the subtle cues we get from childhood about what the “real scoop” is.
We watch a news program about welfare. The report tells us that statistically “whyte” people are far greater represented on the welfare rolls than “Black” people – but, the only photo or video coverage is of “Black” people. They have done studies about these very issues. The truth is that those pictures say far more to us than the verbal cues.
There is really so much more I could say about all of this – but I had never really intented for this to be an entire commentary about race & race relations, etc… I am not accusing anyone of being intentionally harmful or hurtful – but I am merely attempting to honestly address something that I find relevant & valid to discuss. I have done so in a loving & positive spirit with absolutely no hostility or animosity. If anyone feels upset or put off by that – I cannot really speak to that… only to my intent. Tough issues are often uncomfortable…
Respectfully…
thelepo
Michigan
I understand
and respect what you try to do. And to be perfectly honest, I never implied your hostility, I simply am edged when in a discussion, I want to make sure my voice is heard too so in all due respect, I do state it just as clear as you.
Personally as a “White” person I was never brought up having my mother squeeze my hand harder when a black person was around, nor do many people around here associate danger with a dark person. Even subconsiously. We live near a high crime area, where, yes, there are dark skined people, but just as many whites are doing the exact same crimes, and the exact same magnitude.
Really, the only assumption from movies, television, and even real life, that I have ever gotten is that as a white person we just arn’t as “Cool” as a black person. And if thats a bad stereo-type to have then I’ll eat my socks.
Institusionalized racism is everywhere frankly. I do believe that as well. But besides looking at the obvious why can’t people ever look at more subtle things either? Most people treat it as if being a white male is of some blessing. Yet if a white male says something to a woman the wrong way… he gets in trouble, if he says something that someone gets to touchy about to someone of another race… he gets in trouble.
Yet in my life time, living in the area I do I have been called things by others of different races, that I held no grudge on, nor had any harsh feelings toward. Could I fight back? Chances are, no.
Not to mention I want to go to college soon, now on this subject, even my black friends find it unfair, and unjust, but because of how we have to look at minorities, in my state, they can get into college whether they have the money or not… whether they had the grades or not… and whether or not they could even make it there. BUT the state decisides that a white person just has to work harded, because they already have “So many opportunities”
Why is there no united caucaisan college fund? Because people would freak out. But for people like me… I won’t even be able afford regular universities, so I will have to strive in debt for years.
This kind of treatment stifles us and elimnates some of our chances simply being almost punished, yet we have to grin and bare it for what our fore-fathers did, and for what some idiots in the world still do.
There is racism, reverse racism, and it is much more abudant; this most people don’t even see.
I have nothing wrong with how you pointed out somethings, but merely in the fashion and at what time, to whom you did.
It’s nice to make people aware, but there is a time and a place for everything. I simply didn’t agree with your time or place.
I’ll respect your arguement. But far be it from me to agree.
For me, this conversation is over. No hostility meant, and enjoy your life.
To Calm My Unquieted Mind!
Minneapolis
Wait... Are you serious? But of course you are!!!
I’m not sure whether to laugh, cry, or merely shake my head & call it a day
?
While at times your comments were not coherent, by & large you have unfortunately proven me right (not on the initial inquiry, but on subsequent points I was attempting to make) – not that it was ever about that.
If you are not able to read back over what you have wrote & see the outright – not subtle – but outright privileged, racist, & really downright ignorance of your thinking – far be it for me to challenge you. It is actually a rare occasion when I will make such statements to people – I’m not much for judgment or the appearance of such. But, there is a difference between making a determination (judgment) of the validity of someone’s “argument”, “thinking” & being judgmental… I’m opting for the former.
You can tow that bottom line of false understanding all you want, but in “stereotypical” form – one can only keep it up for a short while before the truth comes out when pressed on tough matters such as this. As they say – “a leopard always shows his spots”. I don’t know YOU… but you have shown through these posts – especially the last – quite a bit about what truly feeds your thinking. You painted a pretty clear picture for me of the true intent of your heart & spirit – I really don’t need to say any more about it at this point – you showed yourself quite nicely.
Happy trails…
To Calm My Unquieted Mind!
Minneapolis
BTW...
... I “heard” you all along… truly!
mlecke
Offensive Icon for Unctuous
I removed this item from the “100 Words Every High School Graduate Should Know” list on listsofbests.com. Yes, the connection was offensive; and no, I can’t believe there was any debate about it.
To Calm My Unquieted Mind!
Minneapolis
Guess somethings do just take time...
It’s been a long while since I posted this… Thanks for acknowledging what I already knew to be true! Peace & Blessings… aisha